Ah, the sweet blooming of first love! Who can forget those first furtive fumblings, as one desperately tries to locate the appropriate hole whilst pretending to be an old hand at the underpants charleston? A friend of mine, let us call him ‘L’, was lucky enough to pop his cherry with a local gal in a park near the pub. It started with a kiss, but soon they were lying half-naked in the moonlight with their bits out. The rest, as they say, is history. Afterwards, being a proper gentleman, L offered to take his lady home in a cab. She remarked on an unpleasant smell as she entered the vehicle. L didn’t know how to tell her that she had rolled in a dog turd, which she subsequently transferred to the seat of the taxi.
